Single, taken or attached, whatever the status, the milestone of the 50th birthday is a turning point in every woman’s life and most often she enters it unprepared. As a woman, the society prepares her for all the firsts in her life from a kiss, PMS, marriage to making and having babies. A plethora of solicited or not, but the advice surely comes with the package and that too in abundance- ‘Buy one get some dozens free.  Unfortunately just as a woman approaches 50, the advice stops and she is left alone in the company of her crazy hormones, greying hair, wrinkles, sagging breasts and depression.

The ‘Catch 52’ situation is a defining phase in a woman’s life and no wonder she approaches it with trepidation. It is not surprising to hang your heels and throw in the negligee as nature hurls you into that phase of your life which you know little or nothing about. No one ever talks about it, there is no instructions manual and mothers do not mention it. No one explains the fact that the perfect long standing romance between the brain and the ovaries will fizzle off and there will be a complete miscommunication between the two and caught in between will be her world, altered and changed forever.

In this society a woman’s life is scripted and predictable; school, university, jobs, babies, grandchildren and between these milestones comes organizing homework, maids, repairs to planning dinners, holidays, weddings finances and funerals. The first 50 years of her life is spent putting others’ needs first and her own under the carpet. When menopause hits a woman, a heady cocktail of hormones kicks in and brings about serious physical mental and emotional changes and a deep realization that her life is half over and there is a need for something deeper and meaningful. Traditionally, you would see our mothers and grandmothers surrendering their lives in the service of god and spirituality but along with this sense of calm there is a sense of resignation from life.

This worries me, as I spend my adult life making money babies and curry, there are many boxes on my wish list that I need to tick before I say goodbye. Do I live my life when I am 50 but then again I shall be fighting menopause that will be the end of me Isn’t it? The truth as I read and talked about it with few women who have redefined their lives in their 50’ was an eye opener and defies the age old platitudes that a woman’s life stops at 50. They say it is the best phase of a woman’s life- better than the 30’s and 40’s. There are increasing number of women who are taking on the world with renewed vigor and refuse to be labeled old and redundant, they are not content and happy to see the world go by from their little bedroom window.

The truth and science behind this is that the lack of oestrogen which is a natural phenomenon in pre and post menopause forces a woman into becoming less emotional. Women, after menopause, have reduced levels of oxytocin which can cause major relationship problems. In women, oxytocin production in the brain is greatly affected by estrogen levels, which decline after menopause. It is no surprise that many marriages end in divorce after mid-life. Women experience more loneliness and less life satisfaction after menopause. Before menopause women’s hormone levels increase their ability to care for others and maintain relationships and after menopause the hormones that supported these relationships decline This change prompts her to re-evaluate her life and exploit her latent creative instinct.  The depleting estrogen and Progesterone brings about an uncivilized menopause with hot flushes, tender bones, increased weight gain and muscle pain, reduced sleep and libido levels, weak eye sight, memory and cardiovascular functions. It’s not surprising that with all these physical and emotional changes, there is sure to be serious havoc in her life which spells aloud-It’s Complicated, I do not know who I am?’

Some women seem to sail through the hormonal turmoil that marks the end of their fertile years but for some it can be dire and intolerable this leads to depression raising its ugly head in her life and since oestrogen assists in the formation of neurotransmitters which relieve anxiety and depression, the lack of this hormone affects her cognitive functions. The biological truth is that the chemical imbalance in her prompts her to ask the question, How can I find meaning in my life?’ ‘What is it I truly wanted to do in my life?’

This phase can turn into the best phase of her life, only if she has a plan. The plan is unique to her and it is for her to paint the rainbow after the storm. Listening to her heart and her body prompts her to take charge of her life and place her own needs before others. She needs to start exercising, investing in a long lost hobby, eating right, expanding her social network, identifying what she wants versus what she is supposed to do and then going ahead and investing in it like learning a musical instrument, knitting, writing, dancing, travelling, cooking, gardening, volunteering or even going back to college and most importantly acknowledging that she cannot be perfect in everything and that it is alright not to smile and be ever ready to serve at the dinner table. To keep the passion alive in her life, she needs to find little things that she can do with her partner- ‘enjoying the ball dance while she sings her solo tune’.Traditionally society spells menopause as the end of womanhood but in reality it is that time of her life when she gives birth to her true self.  What seems like a dark period is actually the best period of a woman’s life . This is that phase of her life when she can walk bare foot on the shores of a sea watching the sunset humming her favorite tune and yes there is no deadline to adhere to.